You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
