I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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