my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
