I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
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the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
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Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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