Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
