You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
