I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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