I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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