Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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