Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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