Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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