I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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