I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
