You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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