Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
