My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
