shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my vag is so smooth its legendary
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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