I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
