the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
