can we get nightvision for the apartment?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
