Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
