Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize