i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
