It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
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i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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