So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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