You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
how can u be prego again
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
