I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
