Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
