Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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