So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
