Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
