apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
