I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Found the puke drawer
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize