that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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