Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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