Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
