Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
