Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
