if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
