Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Its about making memories worth repressing
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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