he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
