like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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