Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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