my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
