she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
