jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
