Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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