I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
