Grow some girl-balls and come out already
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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