he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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