i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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