if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm getting married
To pizza
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
