he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
