sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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