Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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