I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
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The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
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My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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