I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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