May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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